• Daddy: you be a good girl while Daddy's at work princess okay
  • Me: okies Daddy, but... um
  • Daddy: spit it out baby I'm gonna be late
  • Me: I haven't had cummys all week...
  • Daddy: I am aware...
  • Me: ... I'm squishy Daddy
  • Daddy: and?
  • Me: *wriggles* can I has them please Daddy. Can I cum please
  • Daddy: I want you to edge all day babygirl and if your panties are wet enough when I get home then I'll think about letting you cum
  • Me: *whines* *whimpers* *gets wet*
  • Daddy: have a great day princess *kisses my head*
  • gookgod: all yall goin to hell



Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Gemini: fake
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Libra: basic
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Capricorn: bitter
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself

  • Me: Heyyyy baby *hugs cat*
  • Cat: *paws me*
  • Cat: *bites me*
  • Cat: *kicks me*
  • Cat: *scratches me*
  • Cat: *runs away immediately*
  • Me:
  • Me: *looks down the bleeding hands*
  • Me: Cats are
  • Me: the best
  • mom: can you do me a favor?
  • me: will you pay me?
  • mom: why do i have to pay you to do me a favor?
  • me: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.

the internet is an astounding, baffling place


the internet is an astounding, baffling place

  • on the tumblr: white boys must be stopped. at all costs. no excuses. end them.
  • on the streets: damn...wassup....


you: i’ll have one beer please

me: oh sorry we don’t drink here, this is a straightedge bar

you: so what do you do?

everyone in the bar:




the truth is out there.


powered by tumblr | themed by fusels