• Daddy: you be a good girl while Daddy's at work princess okay
  • Me: okies Daddy, but... um
  • Daddy: spit it out baby I'm gonna be late
  • Me: I haven't had cummys all week...
  • Daddy: I am aware...
  • Me: ... I'm squishy Daddy
  • Daddy: and?
  • Me: *wriggles* can I has them please Daddy. Can I cum please
  • Daddy: I want you to edge all day babygirl and if your panties are wet enough when I get home then I'll think about letting you cum
  • Me: *whines* *whimpers* *gets wet*
  • Daddy: have a great day princess *kisses my head*
  • gookgod: all yall goin to hell
+

+

aaliyah1979-2001:

Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Gemini: fake
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Libra: basic
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Capricorn: bitter
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself

+
+
  • Me: Heyyyy baby *hugs cat*
  • Cat: *paws me*
  • Cat: *bites me*
  • Cat: *kicks me*
  • Cat: *scratches me*
  • Cat: *runs away immediately*
  • Me:
  • Me: *looks down the bleeding hands*
  • Me: Cats are
  • Me: the best
+
  • mom: can you do me a favor?
  • me: will you pay me?
  • mom: why do i have to pay you to do me a favor?
  • me: Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange.
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gloomgaze:

the internet is an astounding, baffling place

gloomgaze:

the internet is an astounding, baffling place

+
  • on the tumblr: white boys must be stopped. at all costs. no excuses. end them.
  • on the streets: damn...wassup....
+

seriousjones:

you: i’ll have one beer please

me: oh sorry we don’t drink here, this is a straightedge bar

you: so what do you do?

everyone in the bar:

image

+

captainstormwind:

the truth is out there.

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